“He looked flawless, just like a model. It was love at first message. A day didn’t go by without us talking. It was perfect. I got to spoil him and we were just about to meet. Everything was working in my favor. But something fell off, the whole time—and then I woke up. ”

Perhaps your story sounds something like that, and you didn’t wake up from a dream, but rather from a scam. 

You’re not the only one though. People are getting scammed left and right for money, love or simply attention. It makes you wonder…

Why Do People Catfish?

Not every catfish is a criminal mastermind. In fact, many of them aren’t even after your money.

Some people catfish because they’re lonely. They might feel insecure about how they look or who they are, so they create a more attractive or confident version of themselves online. It’s their way of trying to connect without the risk of being judged.

Others do it for attention or validation. They thrive when they feel loved or wanted, even if it’s not really them you’re liking.

But then there are the most dangerous ones—the scammers. These are the catfish who build trust just to break it. They’ll say whatever it takes to make you fall for them, only to eventually ask for money, favors, or even sensitive photos they can later use to blackmail or control you.

Dating app users are easy targets because they’re open to meeting someone new. Catfish know this. That’s why they move quickly: they’ll shower you with compliments, call you their soulmate, and try to pull you in emotionally before you have time to question things.

That’s why it’s so important to know the signs—and check things early. It can save you a lot of time, heartache, and in some cases, serious money

Catfish usually follow a pattern. Once you know what to look for, the signs become easier to spot.

Here are the biggest red flags people have shared again and again—from real dating app users to online safety experts:

1. They avoid video calls or meeting in person

No matter how close you feel, if they always have an excuse—“my camera’s broken,” “I’m too shy,” “bad connection”—it’s a major red flag. If weeks go by and they still won’t FaceTime, Zoom, or meet for coffee? There’s a good chance they’re hiding something.

2. Their photos look too perfect (or too staged)

Only pro-quality selfies? Nothing casual, no group shots, no tagged photos? A lot of catfish steal pictures from models, influencers, or even random people on Instagram.

If it looks like a stock photo, try running a Catfish reverse image search—you might find it elsewhere under a different name.

3. They fall for you really fast

If someone says they’re in love after a few days of texting, slow down. Real connections take time.

Catfish often “love bomb” early to create an emotional bond quickly, so you’ll trust them before questioning things.

4. They want to move the conversation off the app immediately

This is a common tactic. If someone pushes you to switch to WhatsApp, Google Chat, Telegram, or text right away, ask yourself why. Dating apps have safety features—catfish want to avoid those.

Staying in-app protects you and gives you an easier way to report suspicious behavior.

5. They live far away, or always traveling

Another classic move: claiming they work on an oil rig, are in the military, they’re a celebrity or “just moved abroad.”

These stories help them explain why they can’t meet in person or video chat, and often set the stage for a fake emergency later (“I’m stuck overseas, can you send money?”).

6. They share too little… or too much

If their answers are vague (“I work in finance”) but they don’t offer real details or stories, that’s suspicious.

On the flip side, if they write you long emotional messages every day but never say anything personal or specific, it could be a script. Scammers often reuse lines across multiple victims.

7. There’s always a crisis

This one is big. Maybe they got mugged. Their mom is sick. Their phone broke. They’re in legal trouble. At first, you feel bad for them.

But soon they’re asking for help—maybe a “small loan,” or a gift card. Don’t send anything. Real people don’t test your love by asking for money. 

8. They won’t send a simple photo or do a small verification task

Try this: ask for a selfie holding up two fingers or wearing a hat. Something easy that proves the person in the photo is real and current. A legit person will do it. A catfish usually ghosts, delays, or sends a fake that doesn’t quite match.

9. They ask for private info, nudes, or money

If they ask for your full name, address, banking details—or pressure you to send intimate photos—it’s time to cut them off. Some catfish use these to blackmail or exploit you later. If they really like you, they’ll wait until there’s real trust.

Verify Before You Trust

Getting excited about a new match is totally normal. But before you get too invested, it’s smart to pause and verify—just like you would before making an online purchase or giving out your phone number. The good news? It doesn’t take much to confirm if someone’s legit. Here’s how.

1. Reverse image search their photos

Take a screenshot of their profile pic and upload it to Google Images or ProFaceFinder if you want more accuracy. If that photo shows up on a model’s portfolio or someone else’s social profile? You’ve likely found a catfish.

If the photos look Instagram-perfect, here’s how to do an Instagram reverse image search using face recognition.

🧠 Pro tip: If there’s no match at all, that might still be suspicious. Some scammers now use AI-generated faces that don’t exist anywhere else. These fake photos look real but aren’t tied to any person.

2. Ask for a casual “proof” photo

Nothing weird—just something like:

“Hey, could you send a quick selfie holding a peace sign?”
If they dodge, delay, or send something that looks staged, it’s a red flag. Real people usually don’t mind sending a spontaneous selfie if they like you.

3. Have a quick video chat early on

Even a 2-minute video call can give you peace of mind. You’ll see if they match their photos, sound like their messages, and feel genuine. If they won’t do a simple video chat after talking for days or weeks? That’s a hard no.

Most dating apps now offer in-app video chats—use them! They protect your privacy (no phone number needed) and let you stay within the safety of the platform.

4. Don’t leave the dating app too fast

Scammers try to move the conversation to text, WhatsApp, or Telegram ASAP—because if you report them, the app can ban their account. Staying in-app gives you access to report/block features, and the platform might even flag suspicious behavior for you.

5. Prefer verified profiles (and verify yourself too)

Apps like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and Hinge now offer photo verification badges. These mean the person uploaded selfies that match their profile pictures—and passed an AI or human check.

You can even filter to only see verified users on some apps. It’s not foolproof, but it cuts your risk way down.

Need more tools to run a face search? See our list of PimEyes alternatives for reverse face lookups.

Are you ignoring signs on purpose?

Experienced scammers make sure to form an emotional bond before profiting off you (financially or emotionally). So, now even if you see major red flags, you justify them. You want to change that? Ask yourself the questions below.

• If a close friend were in the same situation, what would you advise them to do? Would you tell them to follow their heart blindly, knowing that no good will come from this relationship? or will you remind them that they’re being used?
• Make a list of only factual info you have on the person and compare it with what they know about you. Is their information vague? Have they ever really taken an initiative to video call or meet? Are they full of excuses? When you were able to tell so much about yourself, why weren’t they?
• Compare this relationship to previous ones with people you’ve actually met. Did they delay meetings this much? Did they ignore personal questions or selfie requests?
• Read catfishing stories. Do they sound familiar? Does the catfish share traits with your online bae? Did the victims feel like they had a genuine connection with the scammer as well? How did their story end up? Did they ignore the signs but now regret it?
• Don’t message them for a day. Do their messages sound more frustrated than concerned? 

You Want to Leave, but How?

So it got to the point where you couldn’t ignore the signs, what comes next? Maybe they’ve dodged every video call, or they just asked you for a favor that feels off. Don’t ignore those feelings. Here’s what you can do—step by step.

• Stop sharing personal info immediately

Don’t send your full name, address, phone number, workplace, or any private photos. Even if you’ve already shared some details, you can cut it off now. The less they know, the less power they have. 

• Don’t confront them

You’re not the first or last person they’ve scammed. If you mention that you’re suspicious of them, they will try to manipulate, gaslight or even blackmail you. However, if you really want to confront them, do it with the help of higher authorities. Whatever the reaction, you’ll have their support.

• Take screenshots of your conversation

If you’re suspicious, save the receipts—messages, photos, usernames, and timestamps. This helps you report the account, protect yourself, and potentially help others who might be targeted too.

• Report and block them

Every dating app and social media platform has a “Report” button. Use it. Choose “Fake Profile,” “Scam,” or “Impersonation.” Then block them immediately—no explanation needed.

💬 “You don’t owe a scammer closure. Just protect yourself and move on.”

You can also report financial scams to your country’s fraud agency.

• US: reportfraud.ftc.gov or IC3.gov (FBI)
• UK: Action Fraud
• Australia: ScamWatch
• Canada: CAFC (Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre)
• Talk to someone you trust

Getting catfished is nothing to be ashamed of. These scammers are professionals—they know exactly what to say and how to play with emotions. Whether or not you lost money, it can be a shock to your self-esteem.

Talk to a friend, vent in a safe online space like Reddit’s r/scams or r/catfish, or even reach out to a therapist or support group if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

• Learn from it, and don’t let it stop you

The experience might shake your trust, and that’s normal. But the truth is: most people online are genuine. Now that you know the red flags and the verification steps, you’re stronger and safer moving forward. Next time, you’ll spot the signs sooner—and you’ll be ready.

You’ve Got This

Online dating can be amazing. You get to meet people you’d never run into in your day-to-day life, explore real connections, and maybe even find love. But like anything online, it comes with risks—and catfishing is one of the biggest.

The good news? You don’t have to fall for it.

Now you know the signs: the too-good-to-be-true profiles, the love bombing, the excuses to avoid video calls, the sudden emergencies. You’ve learned how to verify someone, when to trust your gut, and how to act fast if something feels wrong.

Catfish want you to rush, ignore the red flags, and stay in the dark. But now, you’re not in the dark anymore.

Remember this: you deserve honesty, safety, and respect. Real people with real intentions won’t be offended by simple questions or a quick video chat.

The right match won’t pressure you, lie to you, or ask for money. And if someone does? You’re strong enough to walk away.

So swipe smart. Ask questions. Stay curious—but stay cautious.
The more you trust your instincts and use the tools around you, the safer (and better) your online dating life will be.