Ever watched an MTV Catfish episode and thought, “Wait… that’s happening to me too”? Suddenly, the charming texts, perfect photos, and flirty messages feel less like a dream and more like a setup. 

Catfishes are getting smart, so we must get smarter. I’m going to give you the necessary tools needed for noticing the signs your online date is a catfish, and how to outsmart them.

Why Do People Catfish?

Not every catfish is a villain living in a basement. Some are just lonely people, scared of rejection. So, they make up a persona they think people will actually like. 

Others just like the attention. The constant good morning texts and the flirty compliments feed them, even if it’s not real.

But then there are others who take it too far. They’ll instantly “love” you, build trust and then ask for money, favors, or private photos they can use against you later.

However, catfishes usually follow a pattern. Learn it, and you’ll learn to spot them before they reel you in. Here are the 10 signs you’re dealing with a catfish:

1. They avoid video calls or meetings

Excuses never end: bad Wi-Fi, broken camera, “I’m shy.” Weeks turn into months without a single FaceTime. Push for a short video call early. 

If they keep refusing, or answering in a dim room where you can’t see their face…don’t even bother, walk away. They’re likely using stolen images, and real-time video-calling/meeting are dangerous.

2. Their photos look too perfect

No casual selfies, group shots, or tagged photos. Their profile is just perfect and empty. Ask for a selfie while holding a paper with your name written, or run a reverse image search. 

Tools like ProFaceFinder can scan across social media: TikTok, Twitter, and even dating apps. 

If the face pops up under a different name (or in a model’s portfolio), that’s your answer. Their photos could be AI-generated and tied to no real person. But don’t worry, because ProFaceFinder detects them as well.

3. Madly in love 

They’re “In love” after three days of texting? That’s a tactic, not genuine affection. Try to slow it down. Real relationships are built over time. Don’t get pressured into trusting them before it’s earned.

4. They Push You Off the App

If someone wants to immediately switch to WhatsApp, Telegram, or Snapchat, pause. Dating apps flag suspicious activity, and moving off-platform lets scammers avoid detection. 

Stay on the app, as you’ll have access to reporting tools, verification features, and extra protection.

5. They’re always far away

If they claim to work on an oil ring, military, as a celebrity, or “just moved abroad”, it’s usually because they want to avoid meeting. If their story makes meeting impossible, don’t invest your time.

6. Their stories don’t add up

If they give vague answers, mirror your opinions and hobbies, or send long, dramatic messages without real specifics, it’s probably not genuine. 

E.g., they tell you they’re a medical professional, yet can’t seem to have any medical knowledge. 

Ask follow-up questions and watch out for bland or copy-pasted answers: they’re typical of catfishes, bots, and scammers.

7. There’s always a (monetary) crisis

Robbed, sick parent, broken phone, legal trouble…it always ends with a request for money or gift cards. Don’t fall for it because real connections don’t come with financial tests.

A lot of catfishes are also scammers, so you might notice a shift in their tone once money is involved. They start off early on, and get pushy when you don’t listen.

8. They ask for private stuff

Sharing nudes, bank info, or cash is taboo for most couples, even when married, let alone with someone you’ve never met. Send nothing personal until you’ve met and built real trust. Cut them off if they pressure you.

9. Deserted social media

Their social media account is active but has zero fresh stories, tagged photos, or comments from real friends. Check for signs of real social interaction. If it looks like a ghost profile, it probably is.

Real profiles follow family, friends, colleagues, and interests (sports, celebrities, bands, etc.). If your online date doesn’t, it might mean they opened their account just for the sake of appearing real.

10. A mismatch in identity.

If Cash App, Wallet, and social media names do not match their stated name, it’s probably a fake one. If you planned to send money and notice a strange name, that should be your sign to leave. 

Or if they give you their social media handles, and you notice they have no photos in the city they claim they live in. Don’t ignore such anomalies because they’re signs somebody’s identity is a sham.

Are You Ignoring Signs on Purpose?

Scammers know how to get close before benefiting from you, emotionally or financially. That bond makes you defend them, even when the signs are right in front of us. Break the spell by asking yourself:

• If this was happening to your best friend, what advice would you give them? Would you really say, “Follow your heart”, or would you warn them they’re being played?
• Write down only facts you know about them. Compare that list to what they actually know about you. Why is it so uneven?
• Think back: have your real-life relationships ever delayed a meet-up this long, or avoided every selfie request?
• Read real catfish stories. Notice the pattern of instant connection, constant excuses, and victims who wish they’d trusted their gut. Does it sound familiar?
• Don’t text them for 24 hours. Do they react with genuine concern or just irritation because their script got interrupted?

You Want to Leave, but How?

So it got to the point where you couldn’t ignore the signs, what comes next? Don’t ignore those feelings. Here’s what you can do, step by step.

Realizing you’ve been catfished is hard but leaving safely is absolutely possible.

• Stop telling personal details about you, the places, and people you surround yourself with. 
• Skip the confrontation. They’ll twist your words against you. If you choose to confront, do it backed by authorities.
• Document everything. Screenshots give you proof and power.
• Report, then block. You owe them nothing, not even a goodbye.
• Lean on support. Share with friends, online communities, or professionals. It’s better than bottling it up.
• Move forward. You didn’t “fail” – you learned. Some people online are real and others aren’t. Now you know how to tell the difference.

You’ve Got This

Online dating can be amazing. You meet people outside your bubble, build real connections, maybe even stumble into love. But it comes with risks, and catfishing tops the list.

But now, you’re ready for it! You know the signs, what to do about it, and when to listen to your gut. Don’t rush, doubt yourself, or ignore the red flags. 

Real connections feel safe, honest, and respectful; if not, you’ve got the strength to walk away. Stay curious, cautious, and trust your instincts. You’re in control.