Remember when you believed in Santa until you were 12? Yeah, well…you’re doing it again, only this time, it’s not an old man in a red suit who rewards you for being a good girl.

It’s a 6’3”, ripped “soldier” stationed overseas, who somehow has no video call access but unlimited data to text you all day. Are you being scammed? Let’s find out!

Is Your Military Man Even Real?

If you’re talking to someone who says they’re in the military, but something about them feels just…off, you owe it to yourself to pause, reflect, and ask some questions.

Here’s the thing: most people who fall for these scams say they had a weird gut feeling early on. And how could they not? The red flags were practically doing cartwheels.

🚩Dramatic injury stories straight out of a soap opera.

🚩They “can’t” video call because of top-secret military reasons.

🚩Or maybe the whole “my bank account’s frozen but I need $600 to come see you” plot twist?

Not judging. It’s human to want to feel special, especially if the one doing it feels like a character out of a romance book. 

Since you’re here, you already suspect something. So let’s talk about how you can figure out if your soldier is real, before your heart (and wallet) gets deployed.

Common Military Scams You Should Know

Romance military scammers don’t just fake love–they fake everything to earn your trust faster. Here are a few of their favorites:

• Romance Scams → “I love you” but also, send money or I’ll become very aggressive.

• Charity Scams → Pretending to raise funds for veterans or wounded soldiers, when in reality they’re probably wasting all your money on their gaming habits.

• Injury & Emergency Scams → “I had an accident and need help with medical bills.”

• Crypto Cons → Claiming to invest or needing crypto for “military tech” or safe transfers.

Is there a formula for how military scammers behave? Absolutely! Here are the 7 signs your soldier boyfriend is a scammer:

1. You Find Other Accounts Using His Photos 📸

Either he has a long-lost identical twin with the exact same selfie angles, or, plot twist, he’s using stolen pics. The second one’s more likely.

Check if…

• There are multiple profiles with the same face
• His account is oddly quiet while another is poppin’ with real friends, tags, and activity
• His followers look like random bots or your boyfriend’s alter egos

If it smells fake, robotic, and follows zero people, it’s a scam.

2. He Falls in Love Like in a Rom-Com🎭

In 48 hours he’s calling you “wife,” telling you he’s never felt this before and wants to start a life together. It’s fast, intense, dramatic, and full of holes. Flattery is a hell of a drug, so it might probably make you blind to his red flags.

3. He Won’t Share Basic Military Info🤦‍♀️

Ask him where he’s stationed or his unit name, and he suddenly goes full secret agent:

“It’s classified, babe.”, except…it’s not. Basic military details aren’t top secret. Evasive answers or made-up military jargon = red flag. Ask for:

• Branch: (Army, Navy, Air Force…)
• Rank: (Staff Sergeant, Lieutenant…)
• Unit: (e.g., 82nd Airborne Division)
• Base: Location (yes, real ones exist)

4. He Avoids Social Media or Has a Weird Profile 📱

A real person usually has digital footprints: old posts, tags, real friends. Scammers often use new or strange accounts, sometimes with just a profile photo, maybe one post with 3 likes and a comment from an account that looks as fake as them.

5. Says He’s Deployed Overseas 🌍

They love dramatic, distant-sounding places that justify bad reception, lack of video calls, and not being able to meet. If he says he’s stationed in:

• Syria
• Afghanistan (yes, still…)
• A classified base somewhere in Africa or the Middle East…he’s giving more excuses than updates.

6. He Asks You to Receive a Package for Him 📦

This may be part of a reshipping scam or money laundering. He might say he’s sending you “valuables” or an “inheritance” that you need to accept on his behalf. This tactic can put you in legal danger.

Or something quite similar: they sent a gift, but in order for you to be able to accept it, you’ll have to pay a fee. Plot twist: you won’t get a gift, or your money back.

7. His Grammar Doesn’t Match His Background 🔤

Born and raised in Texas, but types like Google Translate had a stroke? Hmm…

Poor grammar, weird phrases, or robotic responses are classic scam signs, especially if he says he’s a U.S. officer but texts like he’s never seen a spell-check.

How to Check if the Military Guy You’re Talking to Is Real?

> Reverse image search his photo.

Try ProFaceFinder. It’s designed to catch scammers and catfishers by scanning dating apps, social media; even if he’s out there flirting under another name, you’ll know. It starts at just $6 for 2 searches or $10 for 7.

> Look Him up on the DMDC Site

The Defense Manpower Data Center (DMDC), available 24 hours/day, has a service that allows you to verify whether someone is in the military or not.

In order to do this, however, you need their *real* information (e.g., last name, dob, social security number), after which the system will let you know if information on that person exists.

You must create an account, provide personal information as per the site’s request, and have a legit reason for verifying someone’s military background. Make sure to read their Terms of Use 

> Ask For His Email 

Just casually ask for it. Real U.S. military members use @.mil emails. If he’s hitting you with Gmail, Yahoo, or Outlook, and dodging the topic? Red flag. Make sure you double-check and ask if he has a “work email” too.

> Insist to Video Call or Meet

If he won’t video chat or keeps dodging it with excuses, just walk away.

And don’t fall for a dark, glitchy, “oops-my-camera’s-broken” video or a pre-recorded clip that glitches more than TVs in the 1990s.

> Ask Direct Questions About Their Service

Do some research and ask something a real soldier would instantly understand:

• What do you do in the military exactly?
• Which group or team are you with?
• What’s your base’s mailing address?

Found an Account With His Photos? Here’s What to Do

First, breathe. Don’t go full FBI just yet. Check the account closely:

• Is it more active?
• More followers, likes, and real comments?
• Does he have pics with friends or a partner?

If yes, chances are you’ve been talking to a catfish. Yeah, it stings, but don’t go after his girlfriend thinking she’s the villain. Neither of them probably even knows you exist.

If you do reach out, keep it calm and respectful. This isn’t about revenge. It’s about getting the truth without dragging innocent people into the mess!